


till you taste the sun

by babysolie



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: GTA AU, M/M, Mentions of drugs and alcohol, Slow Burn, adding more tags as I go, buckle up folks there is emotional constipation galore and drama, hyungheon, kiho but its on the side
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-17 08:00:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28970982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babysolie/pseuds/babysolie
Summary: Not all retrievers are golden.Instead, they are tall, lithe, and smoking a cigarette on a silent avenue.
Relationships: Chae Hyungwon/Lee Jooheon
Comments: 9
Kudos: 12





	1. what a life

**Author's Note:**

> hi hi!! welcome to a universe i've been making for months upon months now! this is my baby, and i've been trying to force myself to finally work on a bigger project and this is THEE big project. there's a lot to unfold, and there's sex, drugs, and mentions of gang violence later on. buckle in and enjoy. 
> 
> also there is sex in this chapter. sorry i do fuck on the first date 
> 
> oh, and.. happy birthday didi. this one's for you <3

The strobe lights and how they scanned across the matter carpet were like warning signs of what was familiar. The air circulated the same smell of expensive sweat, cheaper alcohol, and that fine mist of cotton candy and floral scents. Heels pressed into the carpet with each careful step, gliding past people with ease, each person a stranger even after coming here so much. 

_ 30 minutes!  _ chimed the reminder on his phone, buzzing against his palm. Hyungwon’s longer fingers had danced over the side of a curtain, barely nudging it with his knuckles to expose a well-lit dressing room. Each vanity was turned on, the lights nearly as blinding as the ones that circulated around the stage and bar areas. In the reflection sat Lee Minhyuk. Minhyuk, who was the best dancer here-- the most requested person for a private session. Minhyuk, who had pretty hair dusted with too much glitter and a fat stack of money sitting in a plastic bag infront of him. 

Minhyuk, who practically owned the club at this point— who was almost a celebrity to the inner city, being the catalyst for bringing in the rich men and women. 

And Hyungwon just happened to be in association with Minhyuk. 

A childhood friend, a roommate, a  _ partner _ — maybe. 

“Oh, you made it,” Minhyuk finally commented from where he sat, gaze lingering on Hyungwon’s velvet skirt before looking up. The smile was in his eyes before it was curling on his face, and Hyungwon wondered to himself just how he could still feel so small even after all these years when placed underneath Minhyuk's gaze. “Cute outfit.” 

“Thanks,” Hyungwon muttered, walking over to the chair beside Minhyuk. He took a seat, humming lowly, looking at the makeup and other things sprawled out on the vanity’s table. “Long night?” 

“You know how it is,” an easy answer, but Minhyuk’s smile didn’t falter. “ _ But _ , in better news, one of my friends is here and he agreed to take you to work and take me home.” 

Hyungwon’s eyebrow raised, blinking in confusion. “Who?” 

“You’ll know him when you see him,” was all Hyungwon got back in response, and he was forced to keep eyes glued to the way Minhyuk tenderly wiped off his own makeup, watching the glamour die down to regular Minhyuk. Still beautiful, but less airbrushed-- more raw. His cheek red with acne spots, sides of his nose dry from too much foundation. 

This was the Minhyuk that Hyungwon had always known, but what he was and what he is now never really mattered. It’s not like Hyungwon could judge, considering their life professions were cousins, and Hyungwon’s job just happened to be the one that was least likely to be invited to the family events. 

He looked down at his own outfit, adjusting his skirt with a small grunt, just humming as a late response to Minhyuk’s words. “Doesn’t tell me much…” a mutter, mindless and shoved off. 

Minhyuk stood, undressing from his scantily clad outfit like it was second nature to him, even with coworkers coming in and out. Hyungwon only watched because it wasn’t anything new, watching all the expensive niceties that once hugged his body fall into a familiar pile. Hyungwon stared at the pile, teeth nipping into his own tongue to stop from scoffing at his thoughts. 

Minhyuk looked like what one would consider normal. Sweatpants, a baggy hoodie— like a college boy. The night life snuffed away for now by Minhyuk’s hand… it was amusing, how fast it could be smothered until it dissipated into ‘normalcy.’ 

“You good?” Minhyuk asked, getting his bag over his wrist after the outfit was stuffed inside. “Got all of your things for the night?” 

Even now, when Minhyuk was exhausted after a shift, obviously needing to double check his own belongings… he was taking care of Hyungwon instead. He supposed things would never change. 

Hyungwon nodded, and Minhyuk flashed him a tired, million dollar smile. “Good, now let’s not keep the chauffeur waiting, yeah?” 

Another nod… It seemed like Hyungwon was full of those. Minhyuk didn’t call him out on his lack of words, opting to circle an arm around his instead, leaving Hyungwon to lead them out of the backrooms. Minhyuk, looking like a normal man, and Hyungwon his stellar  _ whore-- _ dressed for a night underneath the city lights. It was more amusing in his head. 

Minhyuk pulled away once more people came into focus, jogging and jumping onto a broader back. He was loud in his exclamation of glee, making an intangible noise to show it, wrapped around the other. Hyungwon caught up right at the tail end of the excitement, Minhyuk sliding off as the other male turned around. 

His breath hitched. Somehow, he should’ve known that it would be him. Jooheon. 

_ Of course _ …  _ Of course it was Lee Motherfucking Jooheon. _

Anyone who worked these streets knew Jooheon, and Jooheon knew them as well for the same reasons. In Hyungwon’s case, he remembered him faintly from high school, but they never talked-- never spared eachother many glances. It was just the promise of tension, seeing where they were both headed. 

But they graduated, and he supposed that was more than some forgotten promise of potential. 

“Long time no see,” Jooheon hummed, eyes glinting with something Hyungwon couldn’t quite recognize. “You’re a lot more filled out than the weirdo I remember from high school.” 

Hyungwon scoffed like it was second nature to him. “You really know how to sweet talk, huh...” It came out with a bored tone laced to it, but it wasn’t something any of them weren’t used to. 

“Be nice,” Minhyuk chirped in. “He’s our wonderful ride, and he’s sensitive, don’t make him back out-- I’m not sure I can walk home after wearing heels all day.” 

Hyungwon laughed, unable to help it, and Jooheon did as well despite feeling initially insulted. 

“You’re a baby--” They both blurted out, stopping short to meet eyes again. Shock dissolved into a softened look on Jooheon’s face, and Hyungwon quickly placed his eyes elsewhere, pretending it was nothing special. 

Because it wasn’t. Jooheon was just a high school memory, and barely one at that. He was a drug dealer with a fancy car. He was someone that Hyungwon knew by association at this point, and that was the simplicity of it all. Hyungwon liked simple. 

He could manage simple. 

Without much being said, Hyungwon fell into the background noise of Minhyuk and Jooheon catching up with one another. He walked behind them, Minhyuk ranting and raving about the woes of being the best stripper and informant within the city while Jooheon nodded along and walked them to his very fancy, big boy car. They were enigmas. A whole different breed of nighttime street life. 

“Oh, by the way,” Minhyuk mentioned as he climbed into the front seat, Hyungwon climbing into the back. “Never did get any dirt on who got your boys last week.” 

“No big deal,” Jooheon shrugged, slipping on his seatbelt and starting the car. He adjusted his seat, the mirror, and glanced back at Hyungwon for seconds before focusing on backing them out of the club’s parking lot. “Stopping over by Hyunwoo’s ‘cause I was able to get some license plates.” 

“Let me guess… Hoseok was able to snatch them,” Minhyuk replied, casually, longer fingers going through his hair to shake it out-- fix it, curse when glitter would flick off and get into his eyes. 

“Well,  _ naturally _ .” 

Hyungwon felt puzzled. So many names of people he barely knew.  _ Sure _ , Hyungwon had connections of his own, but not to the levels of the monsters sitting in the front seat. He sighed to seemingly nobody but himself, giving up and letting himself genuinely take the backseat to their conversation this time. The drive would probably go faster if he wasn’t running his mind in circles, after all. 

He made the mistake of glancing in the rearview mirror, meeting Jooheon’s gaze. And much to Hyungwon’s dismay, Jooheon looked at Hyungwon like he knew something the other didn’t. There was a small cinch in his gut at the thought, but Hyungwon raised himself to be wary of anyone-- even the man he went to highschool with. 

It came with his career, he supposed. 

Acrylics smoothed over the faux velvet of his skirt as he looked down at his own slightly pale, bare legs. His gaze shifted, turning back towards the window, watching the street lights turn into streaks as they passed by. The turns were familiar to his body, and he sighed. They were close. 

The long strip was ahead, and Hyungwon unbuckled seconds before the car began to roll to a slow stop. Patting himself down for his things, he hummed a little in thought. It should be an easy night, mainly regulars.  _ Thank god _ , he thought to no one but himself. Jooheon put the vehicle in park, fingers playing over the gear, head turning to watch Hyungwon collect himself and his belongings. 

“Give me five stars on Yelp, would’ya?” he teased, smiling so hard at his own quip that his eyes turned into crescents. 

Hyungwon hated himself for smiling, but it was hard not to… Unfortunately, Lee Jooheon was cute. 

“No promises,” Hyungwon shot back, tiny hum on plush lips as he stepped out, shutting the door. 

_ Zzznnnnt.  _

“Where is my kiss goodbye?” Minhyuk called out, just as Hyungwon was about to turn towards the sidewalk. “ _ Helloooo? _ ” 

A simple flick of the middle finger, and Minhyuk was scoffing, window rolled back up. He waved as the car’s tires slowly rolled into motion, and then they were gone. Just like that. 

Relief settled in, after the anxiety that still prickled under his skin after so long of doing this. Fingers danced over a cigarette pack, and he stood— waited, just like always. 

  
  
  
  


Hands glided over the leather of the steering wheel, interior still fresh from being finished a week or so ago. Tinted windows stayed up, bass thumping from each corner of the car, the street lights slowly running over his face over and over again. The route was ingrained in his body, one he took often, and the flickering sign of  _ PHENOMENAS  _ atop the dealership was his beacon of light. 

“Oh, hey, Joo,” called Hoseok from the desk, big smile on his face. His hair was black, messy, slightly sweaty— same type of outfit as always, full of leather and almost irritating to look at due to how much it hugged his body. Jooheon simply nodded and smiled back, albeit small and self-kept. 

“Shownu here?” Code name for Hyunwoo, Hoseok pointing at the office door, closed. “Busy?” 

“Paperwork,” Hoseok mumbled with a shrug, tinkering with a gear shift part while at the front desk, squinting. “Y’know how he is.” 

Jooheon nodded silently, moving to sit at one of the stools in front of the front desk. The white lights within the dealership accented the numerous cars that lined up against the walls. All so damn expensive, and stolen, much to everyone’s surprise. Albeit general assumptions that came with being involved with theft, Hyunwoo was a simple man. He was older in age and only a handful of years from a  _ very  _ good retirement, but it was a family business handed down to him. 

And by the grace of some God, Jooheon and Hoseok were in his life to supply him with knowledge of who to avoid deals with. Hyunwoo was too kind, and Jooheon wouldn’t be able to sleep knowing that this place could fall into the wrong hands. 

He was sure he wasn’t the only one who thought that way either. 

Jooheon found himself waltzing over to what he inferred was the new stock. Fingers graced over the smooth finish of metallic paint, a whistle leaving in response, impressed. Cars were never Jooheon’s niche, but he learned how to appreciate them now that he had a good bit of money to help him stomach the sight of luxury items. 

“You like her?” A deeper, warm voice emerged from the room. “She’s really beautiful, huh?” 

Jooheon turned on his heel, immediately cracking a bigger smile. “There you are, man— and yeah, these cars are fuckin’ nice, Nu.” 

Hyunwoo ran a hand through brown hair, barely lined with grey stripes from his older age, glasses pushed up. He wandered over to where Jooheon was, touching over the exterior with the brush of his own knuckles. A hum left, hand eventually clasping over Jooheon’s, his smile so delicate Jooheon couldn’t help but think it could wilt, just like a flower. “What can I do for you, Jooheon?” 

Jooheon’s gaze trailed towards the hand, blinking, shoulders slumping a little. The stress seemed to dissipate from his features, all that tension within his body slinking away for now. Hyunwoo always made him feel so assured, even if he didn’t know what the problems were. He cleared his throat, reaching into his big puffer coat from the inside to pull out the license plates hid underneath of his armpits. “Need to see if you can run these for me, see who they belong to. I got some guys to tail sometime this week, and this would help me an awful lot.” 

“Are you in trouble?” Hyunwoo asked, eyebrows pensive with worry creasing between them. 

Jooheon waved a hand, shrugging. “Doubt it… same old shit, people learning new turf and wanting to claim some of it.” A sigh slipped in between words, squeezing in to show his grief albeit exuding that sense of a nonchalant attitude. “Comes with the business… but some of my boys got roughed up pretty bad, and I wanna make sure it don’t happen again.” 

Hyunwoo nodded, sniffing as he let his glasses tip down to his nose, taking the license plates and gazing over the number-letter combinations. “Good thing they’re from the state, I always have problems gettin’ a good ID on people out of state. I’ll get them to ya’ tomorrow, if that’s alright.” 

“Hey man, anytime that’s good for you, yeah? No worries,” Jooheon assured, tone laced with anxiety at the feeling that he might be overstepping. 

Hyunwoo’s eyes slid into crescents as he smiled, shoulders bouncing with his chuckle. A hand held onto Jooheon’s shoulder, giving him a nod. “You’re a good, young man, Jooheon. Don’t be so stressed.” 

Jooheon’s eyes were barely widened, blinking before he huffed, pink dusting over his cheeks as he scratched the back of his own head. Lips opened to breathe out a nervous laugh, gaze back onto the floor. “Do I look that bad?” 

“Not bad,” Hyunwoo shook his head, laughing as he patted the other’s shoulder before pulling away. “Just not great… This’ll pass, Jooheon, so just take a deep breath.” 

Jooheon’s gut said otherwise, but he nodded. The daze he was in was interrupted by a flash of brighter headlights coming into view within the large glass windows, a  _ very nice  _ car pulling into the garage next to where the cars on sale were exhibited. 

Hyunwoo looked over, squinting before a smaller body came into view from the outside of the car. A barked out laugh left, elbow nudging Jooheon before he nodded his head towards an all-too-focused Hoseok. “Here comes trouble in paradise, better get your snacks ready,” he mumbled towards Jooheon before making it a point to retreat back to his office. 

_ Asshole _ , Jooheon thought, still confused. 

The click of a door snapped Hoseok out of his trace, the screwdriver put down as a familiar face entered the main part of the dealership. Yoo Kihyun, a smaller but broader man— stocky, with faded red hair and sharper teeth, a tighter outfit than usual which usually meant he got back from a sprint. 

They were.. acquaintances. Kihyun being just a person in passing, really, with similar friends in the middle. 

“Oh, hey, Joo— nice seeing you around here for once,” Kihyun teased, tiny smile on his face all the way until his gaze could meet with Hoseok’s, to which his face turned sour. “Wish it was  _ just _ you, though.” He soon muttered, bitterness thickly laced with his tone. It felt like a family reunion. 

“Nice to see you too, sugar,” Hoseok said with a grin. “Buying a new car in hopes of winning this week?” 

“I won last week, asshole,” Kihyun snapped, showing the stack of money in his hands as proof of his winnings. “You were the one who was a no-show.” 

“Wouldn’t of been had someone not of bent my fuckin’ rim, huh?” 

Jooheon watched the two go back and forth, hands sliding into his jacket pockets. It didn’t take long before Kihyun was red in the face, pout thinned out on his lips. Hoseok was good at keeping his relaxed demeanor, perfectly seated. It was as if Kihyun was so obviously transparent to Hoseok, unable to hide his true feelings with aggression. 

_ Trouble in paradise, huh?  _

A snort left, but when his eyes closed in the midst of his own chuckle, he got a glimpse of Hyungwon in his head. 

_ How cruel _ , he thought to himself,  _ as if this is the same thing.  _

A breath. A skip of a heartbeat. Hyungwon’s soft gaze, with tired doe eyes, still there after so many years. His heart squeezed, frown coming into fruition on his face. 

“Oh,  _ for fuck’s sake _ , Hoseok— would you act your age for once?” Kihyun barked out, snapping Jooheon from his Hyungwon-induced daze. 

“— I’ll see y'all around,” Jooheon suddenly announced, waving a hand as he swung his keys around his pointer finger, making a hasty exit. His stomach turned with something he hadn’t felt in a while. Anxiety, sure, but more so a tingling sense of anticipation awaking from its slumber. 

Like there was always going to be something waiting for him around the corner, and for the first time, he couldn’t pinpoint whether it was good or bad— but it was in the shape of Chae Hyungwon, and that left a taste in his mouth so strong he couldn’t help but want to find out. 

  
  
  


A grunt left as he climbed into the car waiting for him, adjusting his seat to lean back as he sighed, rubbed over his eyes. He took a moment to let himself fall into the silence, before he was sitting back up, a hand on the steering wheel. He pulled out of the dealership, tires rolling right back onto the road, the drive smooth. 

The music drowned out from behind, becoming a swell of noise that vibrated against his well-layered body. Each streetlight strobed behind him in a flurry of redbluegreenyellow, and once again, Lee Jooheon was lost within the cityscape. His elbow was propped up against the door handle, cheek resting into his palm. The grip on his steering wheel was secure enough to maneuver the car, but just loose enough to feel like the car was driving  _ him _ . 

Zzz.  _ ZZzzt. Incoming call: Bro!  _

The moment evaporated. 

Jooheon turned down a familiar stretch, rolling to a slowed stop when a red light angrily flashed at him. His thumb moved, pressing the answer button, the contact name on the screen within the middle of his car. “I was just gonna call you, bro.” He said, chuckling, even if his body was itchy from underneath the skin at his moment of peace being yanked from underneath of him. 

“Weird,” muttered a deeper voice. “Guess our brains must’ve linked or somethin’.” 

“You know I don’t believe in that weirdo twin-brain shit, Changkyun,” Jooheon scoffed, shifting to sit closer to the steering wheel. A cackle echoed from his speakers, as if to mock him for stating his lack of belief. “Fuck you, man.” 

“Don’t be a pissy pants,” Changkyun hummed, and Jooheon cringed at the sound of chewing on the other line, the crunch between every single one of Changkyun’s words making his toes curl… and not in a way that he would like. 

“ _ Anyways _ ,” Jooheon interrupted. “I need a favor.” Changkyun hummed in response from the other side, as if prompting him to go on, and Jooheon did. “Can you hack street cams?” 

A scoff left, and Changkyun was silent for minutes on hand. The only sound coming from his end was the endless clacking of his  _ very  _ loud keyboard, followed by the vivacious clicks of his shitty little gamer mouse. Jooheon’s eyes rolled, parked on the side of the road by now so he could focus, arms crossed. 

“Are you next to the closed down sandwich shop?” Changkyun asked, tone laced with a bite of smugness. Jooheon flicked up a middle finger at the camera hanging from the electricity pole. Changkyun gasped, as if he were in pain. “How dare you!” 

“A simple  _ yes _ would’ve been jus’ fine.” 

“That’s boring,” a mutter.  _ Was he  _ **_pouting_ ** _?  _

“Okay, well,” Jooheon situated himself again, foot slowly easing back onto the gas as he pulled back into the stretch. He ignored the sound of a horn behind him, not bothering to acknowledge that he made a slight mistake in veering. “I need you to hack some street cams for me and see if you can find these license plates, give me some faces if you can. I’ll text you the plates when they come.” 

“You in danger?” a serious inquiry this time. How many was that now? Jooheon wondered if he had too many people in his life who worried about him. 

“I’m good,” Jooheon kept it short and simple. “Can you do that for me, Kyun?” 

“Of course.”

Jooheon took a turn, a familiar figure taking form in the distance.  _ Shit _ … “I’m gonna go, I’ll catch you later, man. Goodnight.” And he clicked the button on his wheel again after Changkyun replied with a simple  _ Night, bro _ , reaching over to throw the extra shit from his passenger seat into the  _ way _ back of his car. 

That feeling of anticipation from earlier hit his gut again, gaze taking in a standing Hyungwon, with a cigarette between his lips and a bored expression on his face. Tall legs on show, skirt barely riding up. His make up was still perfect, and so was his hair… But it was freezing outside, and if Hyungwon was having a dead night, then Jooheon just hit the jackpot. 

His car rolled right up to where the other was standing, tinted window rolled down to where he could reach over. An eyebrow quirked, smirk forming all too easily on his face. “Hey honeybun,” he called out. Hyungwon perked up, fingers clutching onto his cigarette. Jooheon could see that split second where Hyungwon was about to play the part before it dissolved into the Hyungwon he knew— someone who acted as if seeing Jooheon wasn’t a big deal. 

It amused him… 

Hyungwon walked over to the window. “Did you get bored?” Tone was smooth, yet so unbearably flat. Jooheon took a mental note of how  _ good  _ Hyungwon was at convincing him that he wasn’t interested in…  **anything** . 

“Maybe,” Jooheon hummed, able to play the game just as well— if not better. “No luck tonight?” 

Hyungwon shrugged, taking one final drag of the cigarette before blowing the smoke in Jooheon’s direction. Ugh…  _ Newports.  _ “I guess. I’m about to go back home.” 

_ Score.  _

Jooheon grinned as if he were the cat that got the cream. He unlocked the doors with a visible click, eyebrow quirked as his expression turned wolfish. “Wanna come home with me instead? I’ll pay for your time— make it worth it.” 

“Can’t go home with you,” Hyungwon answered, straight to the point. Despite it, the door opened, and Hyungwon was sliding in. “ _ But _ … you can still pay for my time, since you like to waste it so much.” 

“Sheesh, warn a guy before you hurt his feelings, yea’?” Jooheon joked, chuckling as he pulled them away from the street. The car ride was relatively ambient in its silence, comfortable as if they had done this before—  _ alone.  _ A free hand moved, fingertips dancing on Hyungwon’s cool skin, resting dangerously close to his inner thigh— right where it dipped into the underside of his skirt. “I got a place in mind.” 

Hyungwon hummed in response, relaxing, letting his legs spread the slightest bit as if to test the other. The air was different, now that it was just the two of them, lacking a Minhyuk to fill up all of the empty space that held them away from tension. He wondered how Jooheon would react— if he was impulsive, and not as tender as Hyungwon would have secretly hoped he would be. 

He wanted to inch himself into Jooheon’s head, just to see if the time between now and high school mattered— if there  _ was  _ any promise of potential left in him. 

Jooheon didn’t move though, and instead let his index finger tap to the beat of the song faintly moving through each speaker. It pressed into his plush skin, the steering wheel whipped around as they turned into a shrouded area, tires skidding against softer sands. 

_ The coast..  _ Jooheon took him to the beach, at the middle of the night, the sky full of stars and barely inches away from the grasp of the city’s smog. 

Hyungwon looked out towards the calmed waves, pulled by the moon into a cathartic embrace. An unfamiliar feeling settled in his chest, and he chose to ignore it the moment Jooheon’s hand had slipped away from his thigh. The lack of contact surprised him, expecting the hand to slide up instead. 

Jooheon met his gaze, barely catching the shock. It disgruntled him for seconds…. but he knew, he knew deep down, that Chae Hyungwon did  _ not _ want pity. 

“Wanna get in the backseat, baby?” Jooheon offered a smile instead. “I got a sunroof if you wanna stargaze.” 

“Are you gonna make me so bored that I have to look at stars?” Hyungwon quipped all too easily, trying to repress how smug it made him feel. 

Jooheon rolled his eyes. It was there, under his skin, that prickling heat that begged him to make a move. Make a move, catch Hyungwon off guard, and make that tattered edge of brattiness dissolve into nothing but pleas. Maybe it was good that he was with Hyungwon, he thought to himself, since no one can curb his lingering ego the way the other can. “You’ll regret sayin’ that,” was what he settled with, unbuckling his seatbelt. 

“I charge heavy,” a blunt comment with an underlying tease to it, like a threat almost, as Hyungwon watched Jooheon attempt to crawl into his backseat without having to exit the vehicle. 

“I have a fat wallet, sunshine, not worried about money,” Jooheon muttered, knee resting on the middle compartment, his ass right within Hyungwon’s view. Hyungwon, with a very pointed scoff, only responded by using a bigger palm to push Jooheon into the seat using his ass as leverage. 

A grunt, a whine, and the other was forced into the large expanse sitting behind the front seats. In the moments that it took for Jooheon to fall apart and put himself back together, Hyungwon had already managed to pull off his cardigan, slide open the sunroof, and crawl into the back with ease.  _ You’re stupidly fucking cool _ , was what Jooheon thought initially, but he couldn’t quite figure out how to say that to the man he was supposed to have sex with. 

Jooheon adjusted himself, sliding off his jacket and letting it drop onto the floor mats. Hyungwon’s fingers moved down to the straps of his heels, slowly undoing them, making it easier to get situated in the backseat. For a moment, it felt like Hyungwon wasn’t giving him a paid service. It felt normal, like something rebellious teenagers would do in the movies. 

Unfortunately, he was reminded when Jooheon turned to him that this wasn’t anything more than business. Business with a more comfortable setting, an established link being the ailment. 

“What do you want to do first?” A lower tone took over when Hyungwon asked, sultry in a sense, eyebrow quirked as he was propped up on his elbows. 

“I’m more of a go with a flow type of person,” Jooheon replied, not caring much for the theatrics— he knew this was Hyungwon stuck in his work-brain. “That alright with you?” 

“Just need to know what to charge you for,” Hyungwon mumbled, not quite understanding. 

“Baby,” Jooheon snapped, slightly— not in annoyance, but as a means to get the other out of his own head. “We can do whatever you want to do, and you can charge me for whatever once we’re done and you’re home. Okay?” 

Hyungwon could feel the stone forming in his throat as he watched Jooheon’s serious expression fade into a more lighthearted look—  _ caring _ , as if he really was encouraging Hyungwon to do as he pleased. Before he could stop himself, he gave a slow nod. 

Regret was a weird feeling to pair with neediness. His brain nagged at him that he should’ve ran from this encounter— should’ve talked himself into a circle to avoid Jooheon getting him alone. But he liked the idea of… being in control. Being taken care of on his own accord, while also keeping that business front… while also getting  _ paid _ . 

Looking at Jooheon’s soft, patient expression… Hyungwon felt greed above everything else. 

“Wanna get your face under my skirt,” Hyungwon finally said, testing the furthest extent of his own selfishness. Testing to see how much Jooheon would give him. After all, Hyungwon couldn’t remember the last time he was allowed to get himself off and get paid for it— voyeurism wasn’t really profound in his line of work. 

Jooheon, wishing he could count the seconds on his fingers, was taken aback by the suddenness… but it sunk in faster than it hit him. Shoulders smoothed out, eyebrow quirked as he got settled into the nook of the carseat, as if he were beckoning the other over, patting a hand full of ringed fingers against his own face. “Looks like you’re  _ just  _ tall enough to ride this ride, Chae Hyungwon.” A million dollar smile shone towards Hyungwon… 

_ Jesus christ _ . 

A shift as Hyungwon crawled over knees just barely managing to fit on the backseat as they rested beside Jooheon's head. He could feel the heat behind his cheeks, blush not showing itself. This wasn’t anything new for Hyungwon, the idea of sex and all, so why did he feel different? Why did he feel flustered, even as Jooheon’s fingers danced up his thighs to pull down the panties he wore from underneath the skirt… 

He was lowered down by his hips, longer digits extending to hold onto the edge of the skirt, lifting it so he could see Jooheon’s expression. His gaze was laced with a different type of hunger, the type that made Hyungwon just barely shiver as his cock began to twitch to life. Jooheon’s eyes lidded, focused now as his hands spread Hyungwon to show a twitchy, exposed hole. Hyungwon tried to keep himself from tensing up, letting his shoulders drop right before a cool, slick feeling could dance around his rim. 

Hands were moving to wrap around his thighs, as if to hold him steady, as Jooheon’s tongue flattened around Hyungwon’s entrance. Hyungwon’s neck arched back, gaze meeting with the sunroof, staring up at the stars with a blurred gaze. He truly couldn’t remember the last time he was the one getting pleasured by someone else, and the feeling of Jooheon’s thicker tongue beginning to flick around his sensitivity was something  _ way  _ too euphoric… 

His cock was beginning to pop out of his skirt as it hit full mast, a gasp leaving as it throbbed once Jooheon’s tongue began to work itself inside of Hyungwon. It wasn’t hard, seeing as he was already stretched out, but it was different than poorly lubed fingers or a cock being able to inch itself inside of him with some spit and hope. Jooheon knew exactly how to work into Hyungwon, seeming to know just how to make his back arch and moan in a way that felt so  _ genuine _ . 

Jooheon was taking care of him. 

“ _ Fuck, _ ” Hyungwon cursed, hips beginning to move as he grinded down into the tongue waiting for him. “ _ Joo _ , gh--” 

Jooheon’s tongue was met with two fingers easily sliding in without the familiar burn. Hyungwon didn’t necessarily expect it, but the doubled over amount of pleasure he was receiving was enough for him to arch over and clutch onto the door in front of Jooheon’s head. His fingers skimmed, albeit shaky, the interior until he could click the lock down. 

“G-.  _ Gonna cum _ ,” he rasped out, whine slipping as his cock ached where it sat, fighting the urge to touch himself. He wanted to cum untouched, wanted to experience the elation of being pleasured so much he wouldn’t need to take the reins himself. A sharp breath punched out of him, and a word left that Hyungwon  _ never  _ used, unless he was paid to do so: “ _ Please _ , Jooheon!” 

And it’s relentless, how Jooheon’s fingers pounded into his sweet spot, tongue tickling against his rim over and over until Hyungwon was gasping. He reeled, clutching whatever he could to keep himself from falling off of the seat as his orgasm shook him. Cum hit right up against the interior, and for mere seconds, he felt shame at the sight. He not only begged, but it was given right as soon as he did, and it was potentially one of his best orgasms to date. 

How…  _ embarrassing _ . 

He fixed himself quickly, blinking as he scooted back— managed his panties back on, looking down at the other as he sat right at the middle of his gut. Jooheon looked almost twice as pleased as Hyungwon  _ just  _ was. 

“Please tell me you have wipes for your car,” he mumbled, cheeks dusted a light pink with embarrassment. 

“In the glove compartment, babe,” Jooheon hummed, wiping the drool and spit off of his mouth as he moved to sit back up, Hyungwon shifted and practically in his lap. 

“Did you-... do you want to get off? I’m confused,” Hyungwon said, eyebrows narrowed, as if he were almost pouting due to his lack of understanding. If he felt selfish before, he definitely felt it now. 

Jooheon shook his head, shrugging. “Said I was paying for  _ your  _ time. ‘Sides, I’m not lowly enough to fuck you in a car seat. I got a bed at home good enough for that.” 

Hyungwon barely managed to swallow. A bed at home? Jooheon  _ wanted _ to take him home? 

He was something else… 

“Let's get this cleaned up, then I can take you home and you can be clocked out for the night,” Jooheon settled, moving the other off of his lap to sit in the backseat, smelling of slight sex and their cologne’s mixed together. He was the first to move, hands reaching for the compartment to pull the wipes out, silently cleaning them as Hyungwon watched. 

_ No _ , Hyungwon’s brain chimed in.  _ You are not special. He is just rich, and bored, and you’re someone familiar.  _

He was humbled by this, gaze falling back into that tired state. Lee Jooheon gave him a great orgasm, and nothing but smiles, and a fat stack of cash once they got back into their front seats. He gave him warmth, reassurance, and choice. He treated him so well… and yet… 

“You can play whatever you want,” Jooheon mumbled, pulling them out and away from the coast, with its quite yet dangerous tide racketing into the sands behind them. A phone was sat on his lap, and Hyungwon managed to scroll even if he felt out of his own body. A song was picked, and he could hear Jooheon’s satisfaction in the way he immediately chimed in with the lyrics. 

Hyungwon’s gaze met with the window, cracking it as he lit up one last cigarette for the night. The smoke clouded his gaze, filled his nose with something that wasn’t Lee Jooheon, and before he could blink… the car was stopped. 

“Well,” Jooheon began, turning the radio down as he pulled the phone away from Hyungwon’s leg. “I’ll see you around, Hyungwon.” And he leaned over, pressing a kiss to the other’s ample cheekbone. “Preferably at my place next time.” 

Hyungwon made it out of the car after feigning a smile. His legs felt like jello as he walked at a slow pace, and he turned to meet with the car one last time. Jooheon stayed put all the way until he made it to his and Minhyuk’s front door. With a final wave, the engine gave a low rumble, Jooheon gone only seconds later. Hyungwon moved to fumble for his key, heels and purse in hand as he did. 

Being the vulnerable one was so tiring, he realized. Jooheon’s kind heart was no match for someone who had already decided they were beyond having a savior. Nobody could white knight him away from the realities of his life, and he pocketed that euphoric feeling that he allowed himself to have, suffocating it like a fire that needed to die into weak, wispful flames. 

  
The door unlocked with a soft  _ pop! _ , and he let his body sag off of his bones, like an old house collapsing into itself. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well that's it for now folks  
> i'm super nervous, but i hope it was enjoyable   
> my twt is @666tuans and i love talking to ppl abt fic and ideas and i hint at stuff and post snippets occasionally... so if thats your squeeze.. haayyy :) 
> 
> love u guys!


	2. target feeling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I sit here and wonder: how can I acquire what it is I'm looking for?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heads up! there is a drug deal in this chapter and we meet some new characters. this is mainly exposition and kiho subplot to supply to this. enjoy!

“Jesus christ, Nu, you should really consider investing in some curtains for this place,” Jooheon huffed, hand covering his eyes as the sunlight beamed through the large glass windows. “One more daylight visit from goin’ blind in my left eye.” 

“I never said you had to be here,” was all Hyunwoo retorted with, pointing a finger at him from where he sat at his desk. Hoseok, seeming to always be stuck in the same spot, was hunched over close to the other male— tinkering away at a car piece. Jooheon wondered if he really did anything else, but quickly decided that wasn’t what was at stake right now. 

“I’m sorry that I like visitin’ you, won’t do it again, old man—” Jooheon huffed, hands going up as if he were some victim. 

Hyunwoo let out a chuckle, waving a hand as if none of it mattered to him. “If I put curtains up, no one will see the lovely merchandise.” 

“The lovely  _ stolen _ merchandise… right,” was all Jooheon said, almost wanting to have the last word, and that’s when it turned from a one to one conversation to a one to two conversation. 

“ _ Oi, _ ” piped in Hoseok, screwdriver put down along with the car part. “Don’t discredit the hard work of stealing cars.” 

Jooheon let it die from there, him and Hyunwoo waving the white flag by raising their hands in what he considered defeat. Hoseok’s eyes rolled, mumbling to himself about all the hard work he puts in to keep this place in shape. Jooheon ignored it, turning away from the sun, ready to retreat back into Hyunwoo’s office to escape the daylight. 

He moved in the night time, this was  _ not  _ for him. 

A sigh left, and like a divine intervention from God himself, Changkyun’s contact name flashed across his phone screen the minute he looked down at it. Maybe they  _ did  _ have a twin brain, but it was something he would never admit. He slid to answer, walking into a corner as he put the phone up to his ear. He watched the cars pass by the dealership, humming out a ‘ _ hello? _ ’ before Changkyun’s louder laugh broke through. 

“You’re gonna kiss me when I send you all the shit I got,” Changkyun immediately said, without any real warning. “God, you might even fuck me—” 

“ _ Changkyun _ ,” Jooheon interrupted. “It can’t be that good.” 

“Not just  _ good _ . It’s  _ great _ ,” the other retorted, seemingly giddy from the other side. Jooheon waited, eyes rolling— he truly wondered if there was anything else in this world that brought Changkyun joy besides hacking into shit. Maybe anime— “I got cars, I got a location— shit, I might even have faces!” 

“You’re lying,” Jooheon immediately shot back. Did street cams really do  _ that  _ much? Any run in he had as a teen with CCTV were beyond shitty… but those were simple minded police officers… Not Im Changkyun, an incel with ‘ _ some swag’ _ and 4 computer monitors. 

“Not at all. Told you you’d want to fuck me.” 

“I don’t.” 

“It’s okay, you don’t have to lie.” 

“Changkyun— just send me the fucking photos,” a groan left, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. 

A groan, exaggerated as if the younger was gearing up to whine— Jooheon could picture the pout. He felt like an older brother for  _ real _ . “That’s no fun, but  _ fine _ — fine. Glad to know my work is  _ soooo _ appreciated…” 

Jooheon’s eyes rolled once more, shrugging even though Changkyun couldn’t see him, as if his body language screamed ‘c’est la vie.’ The phone in his hand buzzed a couple more times, texts flooded with what he could assume were pictures. His boot knocked its toe into the corner a couple more times, watching it as the silence lingered between him and Changkyun. 

With a satisfied noise from the other side, Jooheon’s shoulders smoothed out. “All done. I sent you all I know for now,” Changkyun said, clearing his throat. “But… Joo, be careful, ‘kay? They’re doing a lot of the same shit as you from what I can tell.” 

“Like that’s stopped me before,” Jooheon scoffed a little, eyebrow quirked as if Changkyun could see his expression. 

He must’ve felt it instead because all that came after was a sigh. “I know you don’t believe in my psychic abilities, but as an Aquarius, I must tell you that 1. I’m right and 2. I have a bad feeling in my tummy, dude.” 

“I’m not taking a grown ass man who says  _ tummy _ seriously,” Jooheon mumbled, trying to ignore the fact that he felt the same as Changkyun in terms of gut feel… a sense of dread that he couldn’t properly place. “I gotta go. I’ll stop by soon so we can talk without business bein’ in the way.” 

“Promise?” 

“Shut up,” a chuckle, and he hung up after Changkyun laughed and said goodbye. 

He turned away, walking back towards the front desk, sitting at one of the stools across from where Hoseok was. A sharp inhale turned into a softer exhale, rougher hands running over his face as he let himself slump over. He pulled out his phone, scrolling through all that was sent. To himself and himself only, he really thought Changkyun outdid himself. There was enough information to give him stability, and he was met with the motive and intent to go… but something in his stomach turned, told him otherwise. 

That impending feeling of walking into a Lion’s den. 

“Fuck,” he muttered without realizing.

Hoseok perked up, just barely, head tilted. “What’s up?” 

“Got everything I need,” Jooheon hummed, running a hand through his hair. “But I don’t think I should show my face… they have to know who I am, or else they wouldn’t be pulling this shit, ya’know?” 

Hoseok nodded, letting the words sink in before jumping to impulse. The grace period was enough for him to blink, take in Jooheon’s silence as an invitation to speak, and he started with: “Why don’t I go instead?” 

Jooheon blinked— blinked a couple times, before shaking his head. “No— no. Hoseok, I don’t want to get you mixed up in this.” 

All the other did was laugh, shrugging. “I mean… I kinda already am. ‘Sides, I’m a good guy— you got a mean mug to ya’, makes you look scary.” 

A pout thinned out on Jooheon’s lip, eyebrows furrowed. “I’m a good guy too…” 

“Not my point,” Hoseok began. “I can look innocent and fresh. You’ll make it obvious that you have not-so-nice intent.” Jooheon tried to find an argument, scrolling through his brain, the silence wafting between them with a hint of Hoseok’s own smugness. He knew he won this one. “I’ll just buy an ounce or somethin’. Make ‘em think I’m just a customer. Gotta know what they look like before you can go crazy, yeah? Might even pull some nicknames.” 

Jooheon let himself slump over the counter in earnest, groaning as he did. “Fine…  _ fine _ ,” his gaze shifted, looking up at Hoseok, who sat up with perfect posture. “Just… be safe, okay?” 

A million dollar smile, thumbs up to match. “‘Course. Don’t worry, man. We’ll get ‘em. I’ll go tomorrow.” 

  
  
  


Tomorrow covers the cityscape like a blanket, coasting along the sky with stars smothered by smog. Hoseok could see them if he squinted hard enough. It was easy to get lost in the drive, top down in his LaFerrari. 

When he thinks about it, it’s like a movie. 

His hand glided over the steering wheel, fingertips gently scraping against the leather. The music was lost in the wind, dark brown hair swept back. The city he knew was turning into a part of town not so familiar, but Hoseok managed. 

It was rougher. 

Each building had a longer age to it— the concrete looking weak enough to crumble like a kid’s finger grazing a cheap, popcorn ceiling. The street lights flickered more often than they shone, and each billboard was tearing— advertisements folded over, an 1-800 number forgotten with it. 

His gaze went to the radio, glowing a bright blue.  _ December 29th.  _ All of this on a  _ Saturday _ . His thick jacket was snug on his body, the wind whipping past his ears. He wondered what he was going to do with an  _ ounce _ , having not smoked barely a gram of weed since high school. 

Maybe he could trade it for car parts…. 

A boat dream. He wondered if his faithful racing car would make it at this point, but there were bigger fish to fry. Bigger meaning the people causing Jooheon enough stress to make him look like hell. Hoseok knew Jooheon wasn’t inexperienced, but it was the first time something struck so close— so personal, as if these people knew that individuals like Gunhee and Jaebeom were close to Jooheon. Close and tightly tethered. 

It gave Hoseok goosebumps under his coat. 

He made it down the street given to him, the top beginning to drag up over his car, mechanical noises whirring as they did. He stashed the envelope with cash into his pocket, exiting the vehice while the car was still on. 

Hoseok fished for his phone, swiping it open to confirm his arrival. 

_ TEXT TO: ???  _

_ text:  _ **_here_ **

_ TEXT FROM: ??? _

_ text:  _ **_coming outside_ **

Minutes passed, Hoseok exhaling and watching his breath dissipate into the cold air seconds later before a door creaked open. Out came two men, a tall lanky male with.. a  _ mullet? _ .. and another, slightly tall but more bulky, long blonde hair. The taller male shrouded them from the cameras that hung off of the stop light at the edge of the street, the exchange between Hoseok and the blonde male being all too fast. 

He was seasoned, after all. He didn’t need words to know how this worked. 

“Appreciate it,” Hoseok said with a smile. “My dealers have all tucked tail and ran off.” A lie, just to test the waters. He wondered just how sharp the two males were, if they knew the area as well as they led on… 

Hoseok hoped, silently, that all they had was some baseless confidence. 

“How rude of ‘em,” mumbled the blonde with a snort. Hoseok watched as he knocked his shoe into the rubble from cracking asphalt below their feet, gaze slowly trailing back up. “Well… rest assured, we’ll take any business— looks like your bank account isn’t dented by somethin’ like this, after all.” He nodded towards the Ferrari, and Hoseok shrugged. 

“Money comes and go,” was all he said. “But I’m sure you’ll be seeing more of me, so. Hi, I’m Wonho.” 

His street racing identification. Thank  _ god _ he had something to fall back on. 

The blonde looked up at the man with the mullet, his expression cold but he shrugged at the glance, as if they were communicating without words. Hoseok watched, heartbeat barely picking up.  _ What were they saying? Did he overstep?  _

“I’m JK,” the blonde finally answered. “The quiet one is The8.” 

“Like an 8Ball?” 

They sold  _ crack _ , after all… 

JK laughed in response, the taller one’s facade breaking to grin. In a foreign tongue, he spoke, and JK nodded before translating. “He said ‘No, like the infinity sign.’” 

Hoseok nodded, blinking. Chinese. Korean. JK and The8. They seemed to be close, too. Hoseok wondered why Jooheon was their target, but maybe it was more than just Lee Jooheon. Maybe it was higher orders for a higher purpose. 

Hoseok had been on the streets his whole life… and he still couldn’t quite wrap his mind around all of it. The intricacies— turf wars… owning something that technically belongs to no one. 

Hoseok was… simple. Traditional, maybe….  _ Free?  _

He shook his head to snap out of his inner monologue, fingers dusting off his hair to feign it as something subconscious. He didn’t want to come off as weird, ruin this sense of stability between himself and the people he’s supposed to be getting recon from. 

“Was nice doin’ business, I’ll be back eventually,” Hoseok smiled, met with a nod, and then two when JK had translated for the taller male. 

  
  
  


Fingers graced over the dial for his car’s heater, turning it up as he bundled up. The seat warmers were on, music playing as he stuck the ounce in the passenger seat. Tinted windows masqueraded the contraband, Hoseok not too worried as he drove away from the hideout. Hoseok really was simple, as mentioned. He was so simple that he forgot to call Jooheon. So simple that he was lost in the idea that something went  _ so well _ , considering how nervous he was. 

After all, bravado only gets one so far. 

He learned that the hard way. Racing illegally wasn’t easy, gambling wasn’t easy, and stealing cars as a side hustle was far from even being considered novice. 

What  _ was  _ easy was feigning confidence— pretending to own the world in your palm. He knew it well.Jooheon did, too. Or… at least, Hoseok could hope he did. After all, if Jooheon didn’t have the strength to back it up, he’d be a king sitting on a throne of paper. 

Easy to shred, easy to burn, easy to drown. So many weaknesses. Transparent, and feeble. 

Hoseok was that, once, but with great loss comes a great deal of emotional development. 

_ Humility _ , and how to move on from being absolutely crushed, embarrassed, and ripped off. Great loss being his races, being the car accident when he was just barely a teenager, causing him to have the slightest limp in his step— aches, a doctor begging him to get physical therapy instead of driving, driving,  _ driving.  _

He wondered when his mind grew so nurtured with wisdom and reflection…. but he never really allowed himself to have moments like these, letting himself fall into the rhythm of the city. It was like an ocean, and the tide makes him feel so secure, street lights washing over him with no remorse. 

And he’s stopped, a familiar mop of red hair waiting at the corner for the walking signal to light up. 

It really did feel like a movie. This one was cheesy, and aired on Hallmark, for yearning mothers to see. 

A green light, and the body turns, as if to curse him out— but it dies, and instead the figure is pacing towards him. Brisk, irritated, and without much eruption. The door swung open, eyes immediately met with the bag of weed in the seat. 

A dry scoff, as if it was unbelievable. “It’s bad enough that you’re stopped at a fucking green light, but now you’re smoking weed?” Kihyun barked out, eyebrows narrowed. 

“Was doing someone a favor,” Hoseok said, taking in Kihyun’s appearance. “You know I would never get into the devil’s lettuce like that.” His eyes trailed down, then back up. Earrings, a tighter top that accented his…  _ very ample _ … chest, all tucked into baggy sweats. 

What a  _ tease _ . 

“Sure,” Kihyun huffed. The light was red now…  _ figures _ . “As if you weren’t low enough.” 

Hoseok ignored it. “Why are you over here?” A blink, head tilted as if he were genuinely asking. 

“...Going home?” he said, as if it weren’t already obvious. 

“Do you want a ride?” Hoseok asked, grin on his lips. Kihyun was close, then. That was good information to have, and he slid it into the filing cabinet within the back of his mind. “I’ll make it free of charge.” 

“Fuck you,” Kihyun muttered, pulling away from the door before pausing. He huffed, looking around, eventually grumbling as he shoved the weed out of the way to make room for himself in the passenger seat. The door was shut with an accented slam, seat belt clicking with urgency. After some fumbling, Kihyun got his phone hooked up to the bluetooth within the car, audible directions given. He grumbled to no one but himself, sitting his own phone in Hoseok’s lap. 

If nothing else, Kihyun really wasn’t subtle about his outbursts. 

Hoseok didn’t blink, taking the baggie and stuffing it in the middle compartment. There was silence between them for a minute or so before Hoseok shifted, leaned up against the window with one hand on the wheel. “The weed is for Jooheon.” 

“To smoke?” Kihyun asked, voice a lot more calm, but still teetering on that defensive line like always. 

“Nah… at least I don’t think so,” Hoseok’s hand waved, stopped at another red light. “Some guys have been fuckin’ with him. Beat up some of his guys. We have a strong lead, so I went and acted like a decoy.” 

Kihyun fell silent, Hoseok glancing to see him staring out the window. He could hardly make out the other’s reflection, but there was irritation there forming after the pensive look of worry. The silence lingered, and lingered, until Kihyun finally let an exhale escape. “Why would you involve yourself?” he finally asked. 

Confusion came to him faster than an answer, not exactly sure how to answer since he wasn’t sure  _ why  _ the question was being asked in the first place. He opted to stay silent, feigning his confusion with a shrug, only for seconds to pass and a singular sentence to finally leave. “... I’unno.. I’m his friend.” 

Kihyun’s frustration would have blown the roof off of the car if he were that strong, his fists gripped at his sides, body turned towards the other. Hoseok’s foot leaned into the gas pedal again, his peripheral catching the sight of an all-too pissed off Yoo Kihyun. 

“What? You wanted the truth,” Hoseok muttered, meeting eyes with him as they coasted down the streets, towards where Kihyun’s phone was taking them. “Don’t act so pissed off when I’m honest, it’s just that simple--”

“You’re a special kind of  _ dumbass _ , Hoseok,” Kihyun raised his voice. “Have you ever considered you might just  _ die? _ ” 

It clicked, like a cog in Hoseok’s mind that finally started to work, and he could only assume that it started to come to a point in Kihyun’s head too. 

Yoo Kihyun cared about his life. 

Hoseok grinned so wide he was almost afraid the sides of his cheeks might tear. He let the idea of giving Kihyun theatrics as a response racketeer around his head, but he settled for a laugh, straight from his stomach. A stupid ‘ _ huh, huh, huh _ ’ noise. “Didn’t know you cared so much.” 

“Don’t--” Kihyun choked his words off, pointing a finger at the other. “Don’t make it more than what it is.” 

Hoseok shrugged. “You act like you want me dead all the time, just seems out of character to be mad at me for supposedly risking my life.” And he had Kihyun-- hook, line, and sinker. 

_ Your destination is on the right _ , chimed the speaker, interrupting the tension that thickened with each breath either of them took. Hoseok had to wonder what exactly was running through Kihyun’s head. He was easy to read, if anything. He wore his heart on his sleeve, and tried to cover it with smaller hands as a means to defend himself. In turn, people recoil off of him by his own doing. 

People like Hoseok, who have still found a way to invade the heart that sat on Yoo Kihyun’s sleeve despite the constant, forceful rebounds. 

The car rolled to a stop, and Kihyun moved to take his phone away with haste. Hoseok grabbed his wrist, holding it there. Kihyun showed faux struggle, distressed look meeting with Hoseok’s more…  _ serious  _ gaze.

“Let me go,” Kihyun mumbled, frown steeping like an all-too-saggy bag of tea leaves. 

“I’m not going to die,” a simple reply, and his hand let go only to grab the other’s hand instead, holding it with a gentle yet firm grip. It was so small… so soft, underneath Hoseok's callouses. “Okay?” 

Shock wiped away the anger that was placed, watching their hands with a sense of dubiety. Kihyun’s gaze was, much to his dismay, filled with longing. It was filled with a need to be reassured, and he hated himself for how much he cared. It felt like a wound, like he was a gash that was festering and grotesque. 

Why did caring always hurt so much? 

Kihyun paused his struggle, and he moved back in, dangerously close to Hoseok’s face. “You better not, Lee Hoseok, or I will never forgive you.” And without other words to spare, Kihyun pressed a small kiss to the other’s hand, able to pull away and clamber out of the car, the embarrassment burning on his cheeks. 

“No thank you for taking you home?” 

A middle finger flipped him off, back turned to him. Kihyun sped-walk to get inside of his loft, Hoseok watching his retreating back with a fondness that would make anyone cringe. The moment was so precious, seeing Kihyun so vulnerable, as if it were expected. How could Hoseok be anything  _ but  _ fond? He wanted to see more… yearning was a greedy line to tip toe. 

He looked at the bag of weed, scoffing. Who knew something so small would be the catalyst? 

A catalyst for him and Kihyun, and then… 

_ Zzzznt. Znt! Zzznt. Znt!  _

“What the fuck, Hoseok? Why didn’t you call me?” came through the speakers. Jooheon, and he was irritated. Right.  _ Fuck _ . Hoseok was caught up in the questions left unanswered, the cityscape, and Yoo Kihyun-- who proved that he did care for Hoseok. 

“Hey man, sorry… I got caught up playing chauffeur, but I have the weed-- got some nicknames to match some of the faces, too. I can text you,” he spoke fast, as if to compensate for the time wasted, wishing Kihyun wouldn’t have left so fast now… having some back up would be nice, even if he was sure that Jooheon wouldn’t explode. 

“I thought something happened…  _ god _ , Hoseok, please don’t leave me hangin’ like that,” Jooheon mumbled, seemingly calmed down. “And if you’re gonna play chauffeur, I hope to god you aren’t doing it with weed in your front seat… sounds like bad business.” 

“Too late for that,” Hoseok muttered. “Got chewed out for it already.” 

“Oh?” 

“Kihyun,” he supplied, to sate Jooheon’s curiosity. 

“Naturally,” Jooheon hummed on the other line, vibrating within Hoseok’s car as he reclined the seat back a little. “... Well, okay. Text me everything and drop the weed off at Nu’s, same spot where we hide everything.” 

“Right. Goodnight, Joo,” Hoseok replied, looking over at the empty passenger seat. “Hope this helps you sleep a little better.” 

“Yeah,” a dry sound, short. “Night.” 

_ Click _ . 

  
  
  


Jooheon’s phone was tossed by his side, sitting at the front of his bed. He was right over the edge, feet barely dangling an inch above the floor. A towel was wrapped around his midriff, tucked between his legs. He kept his eyes on the rug, only to lift them and meet with the man in the mirror. 

Stress was a mistress who stole everything from him, causing his hair to spike up in dark black tufts and purple bags to barely carve themselves under the nooks of his eyes. Lips were dry, dug into with teeth-- an old habit that he couldn’t shake, even now. 

What did these people want? 

It seemed so elementary. It seemed like a comical turf war, something short lived and easily aided. 

They seemed too nonchalant to really cause destruction and harm to  _ his  _ city. They were just street dwellers, looking to make a quick buck like everyone else. They were nothing. They were them, and he was him. 

So why…  _ why was there doom?  _

Doom, so thick like a bile he couldn’t quite choke down, settling in his stomach and inflaming it. Doom, making him feel like a mouse caught in a maze that only led to a mousetrap. Doom, making his head hurt behind his eyes, a stinging ache serving as a reminder of these feelings. There was a circle beginning to etch itself into his broader back. A circle, with a dot, and crosshairs to match. A target, bright as day, formed right into the center of his being. 

He looked over at his phone, the black screen mocking him.  _ Anything could happen, Lee Jooheon.  _ A scoff left, and he ran a hand through damp locks. 

He knew that. 

He knew it better than most. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope this was ok.... its not as juicy as the rest but it sure is necessary   
> i made a playlist for this au and fic, so if you all would be interested in it, lmk!!! :)   
> i promise things get more heated up as we go  
> love yall


End file.
